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Hello Mudda, Hello Fudda
I'm Homesick at Camp Granada

The sweetest, most loving and tenderhearted children are often the ones who get homesick at summer camps. They can also be the ones who need the adventure of a sleepover camp the most.

Homesickness means a child is crying on the inside while everyone else is having a good time. He is yearning for and thinking about home while everyone else at camp is singing around a campfire and toasting marshmallows. The other campers giggle and talk after lights out: the homesick child has his head to the wall to hide his sobs and tears. Homesickness ruins his entire camping experience.

If you know you have a sensitive child likely to get homesick at camp, there are certain strategies you can take that have worked for other parents with the same problem.

Involve the child in selecting the camp. Homesickness is about feelings of inadequacy and helplessness. If you choose your child's camp yourself and announce that she's going there without involving her, she will feel more powerless than ever. Look at the brochures together, discuss what each camp has to offer, and visit them together. Allowing her to have a part in these decisions will make her feel that going to camp is her choice too.

Have a positive attitude yourself. One of the most important strategies is to have a positive upbeat attitude yourself about your child's camp. Don't talk about your anxiety that he might get hurt or lost at camp, and don't express your own grief about separating from your child. Don't make a pick-up contract with your child by saying "if you can't stand it there, I'll come and bring you home". Instead talk about how interesting and exciting camp will be, how many new friends the child will make, how much fun it will be to go hiking and boating on that beautiful little lake. Emphasize that you will only be separated for a week or whatever, and then your child can tell you about all the wonderful new experiences he had at camp. Be clear that your child will be staying at camp for the duration of the session.

Practice sleepovers. Your child's first overnight experience away from home should not be at camp, but rather at a close friend or relative's house. Let the child practice sleeping in his sleeping bag and tent.

Let your child express any worries he has about camp before he gets there. If your child brings up the topic, you can talk about homesickness together but don't bring it up yourself. Be a good listener. What particularly is she is afraid of at camp? Is she scared of leaving her familiar surroundings and the people and pets she loves? Emphasize that the separation is only temporary, and that it will be worth it because of all the wonderful new experiences she will have at camp. Make her feel competent to handle the situation, by referring to how well she handled the first day at school or how she has so many likeable qualities it will be easy for her to make friends, etc. Remember that part of her wants to go to camp: try to connect with that part when you talk about camp together. Be positive.

Give your child strategies to handle homesickness. You can take your Teddy Bear and this picture of Mom and Dad. Your friend from karate is going to the same camp: you can hang out together. You can write to me anytime if you need to. There will be nice grown-ups at camp who will help you. It may be hard at first, and then it gets easier. I got homesick once myself and then I was fine after a day or two.

Nevertheless, you still get "homesick" letters from your camper. You might want to talk things over with a camp counselor and ask for advice. If the staff is as good as you think they are, they will know how to handle the situation with finesse and sensitivity. They can help your child get his mind off the past and his yearning for home and bring him back into the present fun of being at camp. Sometimes it's best not to talk to your child on the phone or plan a visit - these can make things worse. Never tease or berate a homesick child: after all, he is not a failure. Some camps will allow you to bring your child home if you and the counselors there determine it is in your child's best interest.

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